Holidays are all about the holy trinity – food, fun and family. For some, the last one can be a little daunting; as much as we love family, life isn’t a classic Hallmark movie. And if you’re hosting over the holidays, dealing with family stress could make you want to cancel Christmas altogether. While we can’t make your family less dysfunctional, we can offer some tips to help manage your sanity. Here’s how to deal with family drama during Christmas.

1. Host a Family Meeting Ahead Of Time

Consider holding a family meeting before the holiday festivities kick in. This is an opportunity to discuss expectations, potential sources of stress and any concerns openly.

Create a space where everyone can share their thoughts and feelings, and work together to find solutions or compromises. Addressing stress points can contribute to a more relaxed atmosphere during holiday gatherings.

2. Implement a Shared Responsibility System

Share holiday responsibilities among family members to avoid one person feeling overwhelmed. Create a list of tasks or verbally communicate tasks such as cooking, decorating or organising activities, and allow each family member to choose what they’d like to contribute. This not only lightens the load for everyone, but also promotes a sense of shared effort and accomplishment, fostering a more collaborative and positive atmosphere.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

One of the biggest sources of stress during the holidays is managing expectations. Recognise that no family is perfect, and no gathering will be without its quirks. Accept imperfections and try to focus on the positive aspects of your time together. Understanding that not everything will go according to plan can help alleviate stress.

No family is perfect, and no gathering will be without its quirks.

4. Create Shared Activities

Focusing on shared activities can shift the emphasis away from potential sources of tension. Plan activities that everyone can enjoy together, such as playing games or watching movies. Cooking a meal together as a family can also help create positive experiences.

5. Communicate Openly

Clear and open communication is key to avoiding misunderstandings. Share your expectations and plans with your family members, and encourage them to do the same. If there are any potential conflicts or concerns, address them before they escalate.

Being forthcoming in conversations can help prevent misunderstandings and foster a slightly less chaotic and more harmonious atmosphere. That said, some people are set on misunderstanding others. If this is your experience, make peace with the fact that certain tensions can’t be resolved if both parties are not willing to find a solution.

6. Practice Empathy

Remember that everyone has their stressors and challenges. Approach family members with empathy and try to understand their perspectives, if possible. Empathy can be a powerful tool in diffusing potential conflicts and fostering a sense of understanding.

7. Establish Boundaries

Set healthy boundaries to protect your well-being. If certain topics are known to spark tension, consider steering the conversation in a different direction or establishing a rule to avoid discussing sensitive issues. Of course, there are family members who can’t read the room and take a hint, but it’s not your job to fix things that can’t be resolved.

8. Practice Self-care

Amidst the holiday hustle and bustle, don’t forget to prioritise self-care. Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation – whether it’s taking the dog for a walk, reading a book or enjoying a warm bath. Taking care of yourself will equip you to handle family dynamics with greater resilience, even if you set aside just an hour of ‘me time’.

9. Stay Flexible

Flexibility is key during the holidays. Plans may change and unexpected events may arise. Rather than getting frustrated, try to approach the situation with a positive attitude. A flexible mindset can help you navigate most challenges that may come your way.

10. Seek Professional Support or Call a Friend

If all else fails, repeat steps one, two and three. If that doesn’t work, book an in-person or virtual session with your therapist if things get too overwhelming. Situations like these can take a toll on one; if you don’t have a therapist, call on a friend for emotional support. Only so much is within your control, and as much as family is important, so is your well-being. Remember that it’s also your holiday and that it isn’t your job to fix or plan everything.

Hosting friends and family this holiday? Here’s how to deal with Christmas stress.